Fajitas Are The Most Obnoxious Dish You Can Oder At A Restaurant

Ordering fajitas anywhere is pretty much like telling the whole restaurant, “Hey look at me, I need so much attention that I’m going to have my food scream as it comes to my table.”  My mother, out of all people, ordered fajitas a few nights ago, and as they came out everyone at the restaurant stopped what they were doing to see what all the commotion was.  They soon realized that it was only an iron skillet with a few chicken slices and veggies and promptly went back to eating and conversing.  But for that brief moment, when all eyes were on her, my mother felt like she was the big cheese at the Island Outpost. 

Also, what really pissed me off is that she was trying to give all her fajitas away to everyone.  Listen mah, if you’re gonna order fajitas you gotta be extremely selfish with them.  You have to keep up the image of the badass with all the attention.

Weird Word Of The Day: Loaf

Have you ever been in a restaurant where they give you a fresh loaf of bread at the table and it’s gone within two minutes?  Yeah, I have too.  There is nothing better than that smell of the fresh warm bread that melts in your mouth after the first bite.  Having said that, who thought it would be a good idea to make a loaf, but instead of fresh dough they would use ground beef and ketchup.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of my mom’s meatloaf but it’s such a ridiculous idea to shape meat into bread and bake it in the oven for an hour and a half.  Call it a meat cube or something; just leave loaf out of it. 

Hey, Get A Load Of This

So I’m on the golf course yesterday, minding my own beeswax, and I see this shit on the golf cart.  Hey EZ-GO golf cart company, that’s my fucking face profile that you are using on your little warning label. I am the only one in America with that nose and if I don’t get some compensation for this soon I’m taking you to court.  But in all seriousness, that’s me right?  For the longest time I thought I looked like the guy on the American express card, but golf-cart-warning-label-guy takes the cake.  This is bogus, I want at least 2 mil from this - or free golf carts for all the readers.  

Bruins Sweep. Suck It Philly!

It’s almost a full year to the day when the Bruins lost game seven to the Flyers that will go down in history as the biggest choke in NHL history.  I have always hated the Flyers and their fans but after that debacle it was painful to look at the colors orange, black and white.  The “suck it Philly” chant seemed to curse the Bruins last year so I waited until the series was over to play the video clip.  I want today to be a day of “suck it Philly” so I’m sharing the clip with everyone.  SUCK IT PHILLY – clap   clap   clapclapclap!

I’m Back, Baby! For about 45 Minutes…

So as all 10 of you readers know, I haven’t had access to Internet for a few weeks and thus unable to write the blogs you know and love.  You are probably asking, “But Murph, how are you writing this blog?” Excellent question people; I am currently in Starbucks mooching off their free internet while my dad is going for a run through downtown Naples in 90 degree weather.  So that gives me about 45 minutes to pump out as many blogs as I can.  Let the games begin!

Save it for the Tuesday Book Club, Pam

Really Pam? Really? I can't stand when people are like this. It's just the opposite of what I want to read (I only read the first paragraph). Videos of guys on ATV's with American flags waving on the back shooting aimlessly with guns in the air in their field that serves no purpose is exactly what I want to see. That's the aftermath of Osama's death we know and love. Pam is just like the group of jabronis who are the jurors in a murder case and sentence a serial killer to a hospital because of "insanity". Of course he is insane, he likes to kill people. So put him in jail with the people who like to steal TV's, sell cocaine, or whatever. There is no need for this article Pamela.

PS- Why didn't I expect this with those three featured articles they have running above Pam's name. They're just the warning signs that should've sent me back to Facebook.

Al-Qaeda Succession Planning

Listen I am just excited as the next guy that Osama was found and killed, but I'm a realist. There are probably ten guys named Muhammad that are more than qualified to fill the position. I bet Osama's been out of the game for years now anyways; he's probably hanging out in his apartment, (which is worse than mine after a 50 people bender by the way), searching for the next best game on addictinggames.com. So in retrospect if we "cut the head off the snake" than there are three more heads growing right back in it's place. Just like the greek mythical creature Hydra but worse. How frustrating is that.

But on this great day I am an American and celebrate with the rest of you. God Bless America.

PS- Is it Osama or Usama. According to FOX its Obama but serious question O or U. It's driving me crazy.