Back From the Dead

So murph sent me a Joe Sent Me Blog reference today to spark my memory about an old hockey player and it got me thinking. Why haven't we continued to write? Every post is gold. Absolute gold. Not one weak link in the chain. I'll give the nay-sayers some credit, before the introduction of Heggs it was an A- blog but hey thats still good. So for all seven of you readers world-wide. We are back! We are back in a big way!

Abercrombie Pays The Cast Of Jersey Shore To NOT Wear Their Clothes

(CBC)- A clothing company is offering money to Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and his fellow Jersey Shore cast members — so they'll stop wearing the brand on the show. Abercrombie & Fitch Co. says in a news release posted Tuesday that it's concerned that having Sorrentino seen in its clothing could cause "significant damage" to the company's image. Abercrombie says a connection to The Situation goes against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to customers. The Ohio-based retailer says it has offered a "substantial payment" to Sorrentino and producers of the MTV show so he'll wear something else. The company says it also is making the offer to others in the hard-partying cast.

Let me get this straight, Abercrombie & Fitch is paying a substantial amount of money to “The Situation” for him not to wear clothes that he doesn’t wear in the first place?  Sounds about right.  Since Abercrombie’s audience is directed to pubescent teenagers and single 30 year-old men who spend more time at the gym and tanning bed, this is a pretty good publicity stunt for the Abercrombie company.  You know, make it seem like all the shirts with the Ed Hardy logo that The Situation wears is actually Abercrombie & Fitch.  Brilliant. 

I love how Abercrombie is so concerned about its image and how The Situation could cause “significant damage” to it.  Lose the giant pictures of half naked guys in the entrance to your stores, ease up on the drowning smell of your fragrances (smells like a middle school gym locker room), and turn the NYC nightclub music down by about 40 notches – that’s a start to a better image.  

The Tuscaloosa County Jail Inmate Of The Week

Meet Larry Eugene Hearld. This beauty is in jail on two different charges: sodomy of the first degree and sexual abuse of a child less than 12 years old.  Damn Larry, can’t you sodomize girls/guys your own age?  Actually don’t answer that, I think we can figure out that brain buster ourselves.  I have a feeling that Larry might drop the soap on purpose a few times during his extensive stay in prison.  Payback’s a bitch Larry, even if you disgustingly enjoy it.

Just Heggs Being Heggs (A Total Dick)

So I got this douchey tweet from Heggs this morning saying that he was golfing at this really nice country club while I'm in class studying my brains out. This led me to start asking myself, "Is it a waste for bad golfers to play at really nice and expensive courses?" and my answer was: Yes, it is in fact a waste. No but Heggs is a decent golfer, what I was really referring to is when my mom (not even playing golf for a year) gets invited to play and tear up courses that I will never be able to play in my life. So basically if you suck at golf stay off the nice courses and leave them for the pro's... like me.

At Least I Have My Health...

(CNN)- Men are more likely than women to get and die of cancer, according to an analysis of 36 different types of tumors and blood cancers that affect both sexes. Leukemia and cancers of the colon and rectum, pancreas, and liver killed about one and a half to two times as many men as women in the U.S. over a 30-year period. In addition, lung cancer killed nearly two and a half times as many men during that time. The American Cancer Society estimates that men have about a 1 in 2 chance of developing cancer at some point in their lives, compared with women, who have a 1 in 3 chance.

What the hell? I don't even care that men are more prone to cancer than women. Ever since before the suffrage movement women have been catching breaks left and right. I'm basically immuned to it by now. The one thing that blows me away is that at our best as humans we have a 1-in-3 chance of getting some form of cancer. It's 2011 isn't it? I have a much cheaper version of that stupid movie 2012 with John Cusack: everyone gets cancer and dies. No Mayans, No IChing, none of that bullshit I've watched 100 times on the history channel. Straight up cancer everywhere. Maybe it's just me but to throw out probabilities like that so casually freaks me out.

House Parties V. City

So last night for me was kind of a dilemma. I went to this house party in Bedford that was supposed to be fun but turned out awful. The same thing happened last night that happens every time at a house party. Unfamiliar guys (townies) show up and make the party awkward as hell. Im talking guys with lax pinnys on, drinking a full bottle of Raspberry Svedka to themselves. The guys who show up in groups of 17 all wearing cut off Affliction t-shirts and earrings. Push comes to shove I make and Irish exit with my buddy and we go into Boston and spend at least $150. So here's my question, is it worth it to pay $150 on drinks in the city to not run into these morons, or do I just suck it up and make the most of my situation? 99 times out of 100 im paying my way out, take the hit on the bank account and get on with my life.

PS- the house was actually really nice and i guarantee one of those jamokes stole something

How Ugly Is The Pringles Guy?

You kinda have to feel bad for this guy right?  He didn’t choose to be this pale and ugly with more hair on his upper lip than on is head.  Seriously, the next time you go to the supermarket look who Pringles Guy has to compete with on the shelf with all the other food mascots – you got the Sun Maid raisins chick, the Land O Lakes Indian, the Green Giant (stud) and then you look at Mr. Pringle and you wanna cringe.  Frito Lay needs to host an Extreme Makeover: Pringles Edition and get this guy a new look.  Wake up and smell the coffee, Frito Lay, Pringles Guy is heinous. 

Fajitas Are The Most Obnoxious Dish You Can Oder At A Restaurant

Ordering fajitas anywhere is pretty much like telling the whole restaurant, “Hey look at me, I need so much attention that I’m going to have my food scream as it comes to my table.”  My mother, out of all people, ordered fajitas a few nights ago, and as they came out everyone at the restaurant stopped what they were doing to see what all the commotion was.  They soon realized that it was only an iron skillet with a few chicken slices and veggies and promptly went back to eating and conversing.  But for that brief moment, when all eyes were on her, my mother felt like she was the big cheese at the Island Outpost. 

Also, what really pissed me off is that she was trying to give all her fajitas away to everyone.  Listen mah, if you’re gonna order fajitas you gotta be extremely selfish with them.  You have to keep up the image of the badass with all the attention.