Bets Are Now Open For Auburn's "Toomer's Tree Poisoning" Retaliation

I can't believe one redneck, who didn't even attend any of the schools, is about to start a civil war in Alabama between AU and UA.  So it seems like this tree is on life support right now and when Auburn eventually pulls the cord you will not see me anywhere near Denny Chimes, Walk of Champions, the quad and possibly Chick Fil-A.  These are absolute hot-spots for Auburn terrorists and I want to be far far away when they finally strike.  I was trying to think of what the masterminds of Auburn are brewing up for their diabolical plan but the only things I could think up would involve masses of manpower that Auburn is just not capable of generating.  So what do you think?  What should we expect to happen/where should I stay the hell away from?

Weird Word Of The Day: Towel

Towels are great.  They've always been great.  They dry you off when you don't want to be wet.  They also make awesome hats for women when they get out of the shower.  But with every good thing, there's a flaw.  New towels suuuuuck.  How many times do you have to wash and dry a new towel before it can actually dry your body?  The drying capability of a brand new towel is so scanty that you're better off using a roll of Bounty after every shower.  They don't call it the quicker-picker-upper for nothing.

Is Bethel Johnson The Biggest Joke To Stumble Upon Two Super Bowl Rings?

For everyone who has forgotten about the New England Patriot's second round draft pick (45th overall) in 2003, Bethel Johnson fell head first into two Super Bowl rings in his rookie and sophomore seasons.  Here's a timeline of his professional football career:


2003 - Drafted 45th overall by the New England Patriots.
2003 - Won Super Bowl XXXVVIII with the New England Patriots
2004 - Won Super Bowl XXXIX with the New England patriots
2006 - Traded to the New Orleans Saints
2006 - Cut from the Saints before the regular season began after injuring his knee in a preseason game
2006 - Signed by the Minnesota Vikings in October, released as a free agent at the end of the season
2007 - Signed a one year contract with the Philadelphia Eagles. Released in June after he failed a physical.
2007 - Signed with the Houston Texans in June.  Released in August and spent the season out of football.
2008 - Signed with the Toronto Argonauts in the CFL. Released in September due to lack of progress with only 16 catches and no touchdowns.
2008 to Present - Free Agent.


I've never witnessed someone's NFL career collapse so terribly after starting it off with two Super Bowl rings.  Too bad him and Chad Jackson never got to play together because I would have so much more material to blog about.

Forgot my username and password to the blog

Would You Pay $200 For A "HappyLight"?

How depressed do you have to be to spend 200 bucks on a light that claims to make you happier?  Thats when you know you've hit rock bottom.  By the time you finish typing your credit card info you could already have a prescription for Zoloft from your doctor.  Actually, I wonder if it really works - If so I know just the person who could use one.

My Weekend Is Here And I Plan On Getting To This Girl's Level Very Soon

Which Commercial Is More Painful To Watch?

or

I think these commercials only air in the Tuscaloosa area, so for those who have never seen them before just imagine watching these two commercials back-to-back twice every commercial break.  Keeping that in mind, which is worse, having to watch a fish suffer and die while a girl complains about her parents taking her to the hostible or the horrendous cinematography in the booster seat commercial?

Weird Word Of The Day: Mesh

Meshhhhh.  Mesh is a lightweight yet durable fabric that is most commonly used to distinguish the two different teams in gym class.  Without mesh, gym classes from k-12 everywhere would be so unorganized that the only way to pick teams would be boys vs. girls- and we all know how much confidence and self esteem would be lost by the girls after one game of capture the flag.