Would You Pay $200 For A "HappyLight"?

How depressed do you have to be to spend 200 bucks on a light that claims to make you happier?  Thats when you know you've hit rock bottom.  By the time you finish typing your credit card info you could already have a prescription for Zoloft from your doctor.  Actually, I wonder if it really works - If so I know just the person who could use one.

My Weekend Is Here And I Plan On Getting To This Girl's Level Very Soon

Which Commercial Is More Painful To Watch?

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I think these commercials only air in the Tuscaloosa area, so for those who have never seen them before just imagine watching these two commercials back-to-back twice every commercial break.  Keeping that in mind, which is worse, having to watch a fish suffer and die while a girl complains about her parents taking her to the hostible or the horrendous cinematography in the booster seat commercial?

Weird Word Of The Day: Mesh

Meshhhhh.  Mesh is a lightweight yet durable fabric that is most commonly used to distinguish the two different teams in gym class.  Without mesh, gym classes from k-12 everywhere would be so unorganized that the only way to pick teams would be boys vs. girls- and we all know how much confidence and self esteem would be lost by the girls after one game of capture the flag. 

Charlie Huddy Does In Fact Suck

What's worse, Charlie Huddy's performance on the ice or his disgusting facial hair?  My vote is for his terrible skating and stick skills.  I've never seen someone cough up the puck and fall on his ass more than Charlie Huddy does in this video.  For someone who spends more time lying on the ice than a pregnant polar bear he somehow manages to trump that by actually shooting the puck in his own net.  The guy was an absolute cancer to the Kings which is why I'm surprised they kept him long enough that someone was able to compile enough Huddy Hiccups to make a four minute YouTube video.

Kid Falls From Stands At The ASU Game

Nice attempt to get on TV kid.  The old "fall like a rag doll 15 feet after a touchdown" routine.  Perfect timing, great execution, unfortunately you're gonna have to do a lot better than that to get your 5 seconds of fame.  These days breaking your neck at an Arizona State football game just wont cut it.  Live and learn little guy.

Gramps Has A Balloon Popping Fetish

The only thing stranger than a balloon popping fetish is filming your balloon popping fetish.  Seriously though, this shirtless old man looked like a kid in a candy store with all those balloons and that big blue one at the 1:02 mark was like the Wonka bar with the golden ticket.  He couldn't wait to get his greasy old hands on that monster, straddle it with his sweatshorts, pop it and somehow get off to it?  Whatever bro, do what you want, as long as you don't bring that weird shit in my house I'm cool with it.

Weird Word Of The Day: Foam

Foam is unique because there are so many different types- foam in your favorite brew; foaming of the mouth; that gross foam on the beach you don't want to touch; there's even foam with memory.

Looking Ahead

It's official, Alabama will be facing off against Michigan to kick off the 2012 college football season.  The game will be held at the new Cowboy's stadium with a capacity of 80,000 and a jumbo-tron bigger than a Wal-Mart line on Black Friday.  In 2000, these two teams met in the Orange bowl where Michigan came out on top beating Alabama 35-34 in overtime borrowing a missed PAT to close out the game.  New England's football freak, Tom Brady, hooked up with David Terrell three times which ultimately led the Wolverines to victory.  A whole new Bama offense and a hopefully matured defense will go head to head with the speedy Denard 'Shoelace' Robinson in 2012's SEC vs. Big 10 matchup.  So pack your cowboy boots and ass-less chaps because we're heading to Arlington, Texas... in two years.

It's That Time Of Year Again

Yep, it’s that time of year again to rummage through the Tupperware containers in your basement in search of the most obnoxious and tacky Christmas sweater for that “ugly sweater party”. The candy cane printed turtleneck alone will not get that cheap laugh you are looking for which is why a wool pullover with a cheesy Christmas scene is a must-have.  So if you don’t own any tacky Christmas sweaters, run down to your local second hand clothing store and pick one up for about $2.50.  An old friend of mine named Bill Cosby once said, “You can never have too many ugly sweaters”- amen Bill, Amen. 


p.s.- What is that lady holding? Is that a baby goat?