Al-Qaeda Succession Planning

Listen I am just excited as the next guy that Osama was found and killed, but I'm a realist. There are probably ten guys named Muhammad that are more than qualified to fill the position. I bet Osama's been out of the game for years now anyways; he's probably hanging out in his apartment, (which is worse than mine after a 50 people bender by the way), searching for the next best game on addictinggames.com. So in retrospect if we "cut the head off the snake" than there are three more heads growing right back in it's place. Just like the greek mythical creature Hydra but worse. How frustrating is that.

But on this great day I am an American and celebrate with the rest of you. God Bless America.

PS- Is it Osama or Usama. According to FOX its Obama but serious question O or U. It's driving me crazy.

CEO in Trouble

Most of you have probably heard there is a big ass tornado just being a dick and destroying all of the... whatever they have down there in Alabama. Murph is calling me crying and stuff and expects me to feel bad for him. A) i bet school is canceled and I just bombed a presentation so I have no sympathy, B) I have always wanted to be part of some survival scenario like stranded on a tropical island or in a friends basement during tornadoes, you can't pay for experience like that, and C) it's no tsunami. People over in Japan and the Philippines probably aren't even looking up from their Mahjong to hear the news. And to boot he has stopped posting. No power? It's called 3G bro.

PS- In all seriousness I hope he's okay because i called him and he didn't answer. Left him a message making light of the situation, which could go either way. Hopefully the tornado didn't strip him of his sense of humor and if it did I'm going to start posting friendship ads on Craig's List

Ference is Now a Bad Ass I Guess

So apparently Andrew Ference is the bad ass of the Boston Bruins now. Just giving the frenchies the finger and sending Alberts up to the Concessions to get a $13 basket of chicken fingers. Remember this is the guy who wears a Bauer 8000 helmet, (dustiest style in the league), because he is prone to concussions. But hey who am I to tell him its not his place. He's doing it all and more this series. Go B's Go!

Magic Shower

So I was having a few casuals with my roommates in light of my buddy Theo's birthday in our apartment last night. We just got done watching the B's and Habs game (I won't even), when people started to show up for a party that apparently we were involuntarily having. So like every guy does on a night he wants to go out i changed out of the mesh shorts and took a shower to get ready for the night. I got out of the shower and dressed and just like that all of the hot girls were not only in our apartment, but dancing on our coffee tables to "Hips Don't Lie" and what-not. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. It was like all the girls on campus that I had thought were hot but never found the energy or the wheels to talk to all of a sudden were filing in and giving me hugs and shit. I took an other shower just to see what would happen. Not really but I was so amazed that I took it for granted and before I knew it they were out the door. I guess its better to lose something than to never experience it at all.

Already Time To Pull Heggs?

Not even 12 hours on the team and he’s already taking personal days and jinxing the Bruins.  I know he’s a rookie but I bet Donald Trump didn’t take a personal week off after his first day on the job – it’s just business ethics 101.  Heggs is just lucky that I don’t give out strikes like Michael Scott does…

Well, The Habs Just Lost

The only thing that the Habs had going for them was that when someone sings 'Oh Canada' the crowd went crazy and they carried the momentum throughout the whole game. Instead they had the Provincial Band of Alberta come and play. Critical mistake by the Bell Centre

PS- This is the best they have? Canada you're girlfriend. WOOF!

Update: McQuaid obviously read my post and out of spite dragged his slow ass to the bench on purpose. Thanks bro

LVP: Least Valuable Player

With the end of the semester, comes group projects. I'll be honest, I usually like to pull my weight in these things because I like to gain the respect from my fellow colleagues, but in this one project I can't get myself up to speed. I mean it has gotten to the point where I'm getting vicious emails with stuff like "????" as the subject. Just killing my self esteem. If I hadn't befriended one of my group mates throughout the class I would have hands-down gotten kicked out of the group by now (which actually can happen at UMaine it's been done before).

I have become the very thing that I can't stand, the LVP of the group. The guy who ignores his emails and hopes the smart girl will do his part for him. It makes me sick just thinking about it. And I refuse to become that disgusting symbol for procrastination. So this will be my last post for a while. Take the reins Murph

Taylor Swift Busts Her Ass And Makes A Fool Of Herself On Stage

HA! Bitch.