Weird Word Of The Day: Loaf

Have you ever been in a restaurant where they give you a fresh loaf of bread at the table and it’s gone within two minutes?  Yeah, I have too.  There is nothing better than that smell of the fresh warm bread that melts in your mouth after the first bite.  Having said that, who thought it would be a good idea to make a loaf, but instead of fresh dough they would use ground beef and ketchup.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of my mom’s meatloaf but it’s such a ridiculous idea to shape meat into bread and bake it in the oven for an hour and a half.  Call it a meat cube or something; just leave loaf out of it. 

Hey, Get A Load Of This

So I’m on the golf course yesterday, minding my own beeswax, and I see this shit on the golf cart.  Hey EZ-GO golf cart company, that’s my fucking face profile that you are using on your little warning label. I am the only one in America with that nose and if I don’t get some compensation for this soon I’m taking you to court.  But in all seriousness, that’s me right?  For the longest time I thought I looked like the guy on the American express card, but golf-cart-warning-label-guy takes the cake.  This is bogus, I want at least 2 mil from this - or free golf carts for all the readers.  

Bruins Sweep. Suck It Philly!

It’s almost a full year to the day when the Bruins lost game seven to the Flyers that will go down in history as the biggest choke in NHL history.  I have always hated the Flyers and their fans but after that debacle it was painful to look at the colors orange, black and white.  The “suck it Philly” chant seemed to curse the Bruins last year so I waited until the series was over to play the video clip.  I want today to be a day of “suck it Philly” so I’m sharing the clip with everyone.  SUCK IT PHILLY – clap   clap   clapclapclap!

I’m Back, Baby! For about 45 Minutes…

So as all 10 of you readers know, I haven’t had access to Internet for a few weeks and thus unable to write the blogs you know and love.  You are probably asking, “But Murph, how are you writing this blog?” Excellent question people; I am currently in Starbucks mooching off their free internet while my dad is going for a run through downtown Naples in 90 degree weather.  So that gives me about 45 minutes to pump out as many blogs as I can.  Let the games begin!

Save it for the Tuesday Book Club, Pam

Really Pam? Really? I can't stand when people are like this. It's just the opposite of what I want to read (I only read the first paragraph). Videos of guys on ATV's with American flags waving on the back shooting aimlessly with guns in the air in their field that serves no purpose is exactly what I want to see. That's the aftermath of Osama's death we know and love. Pam is just like the group of jabronis who are the jurors in a murder case and sentence a serial killer to a hospital because of "insanity". Of course he is insane, he likes to kill people. So put him in jail with the people who like to steal TV's, sell cocaine, or whatever. There is no need for this article Pamela.

PS- Why didn't I expect this with those three featured articles they have running above Pam's name. They're just the warning signs that should've sent me back to Facebook.

Al-Qaeda Succession Planning

Listen I am just excited as the next guy that Osama was found and killed, but I'm a realist. There are probably ten guys named Muhammad that are more than qualified to fill the position. I bet Osama's been out of the game for years now anyways; he's probably hanging out in his apartment, (which is worse than mine after a 50 people bender by the way), searching for the next best game on addictinggames.com. So in retrospect if we "cut the head off the snake" than there are three more heads growing right back in it's place. Just like the greek mythical creature Hydra but worse. How frustrating is that.

But on this great day I am an American and celebrate with the rest of you. God Bless America.

PS- Is it Osama or Usama. According to FOX its Obama but serious question O or U. It's driving me crazy.

CEO in Trouble

Most of you have probably heard there is a big ass tornado just being a dick and destroying all of the... whatever they have down there in Alabama. Murph is calling me crying and stuff and expects me to feel bad for him. A) i bet school is canceled and I just bombed a presentation so I have no sympathy, B) I have always wanted to be part of some survival scenario like stranded on a tropical island or in a friends basement during tornadoes, you can't pay for experience like that, and C) it's no tsunami. People over in Japan and the Philippines probably aren't even looking up from their Mahjong to hear the news. And to boot he has stopped posting. No power? It's called 3G bro.

PS- In all seriousness I hope he's okay because i called him and he didn't answer. Left him a message making light of the situation, which could go either way. Hopefully the tornado didn't strip him of his sense of humor and if it did I'm going to start posting friendship ads on Craig's List

Ference is Now a Bad Ass I Guess

So apparently Andrew Ference is the bad ass of the Boston Bruins now. Just giving the frenchies the finger and sending Alberts up to the Concessions to get a $13 basket of chicken fingers. Remember this is the guy who wears a Bauer 8000 helmet, (dustiest style in the league), because he is prone to concussions. But hey who am I to tell him its not his place. He's doing it all and more this series. Go B's Go!